The Fall by James Preller

A person would have to be fairly heartless to read this story and not shed a tear or two.  
Here's quotes from the story that says a lot. Many good decent people look within and find ourselves wanting.  We can't help but wondering. We feel like failures. We can't know what goes on inside someone's head, or the circumstances of of her life, or exactly why anyone does the things she does.  We have to live with the unknowing.

Sam was just one of a group of kids who posted mean stuff on Morgan's facebook page.  He wasn't the worst by far, still he did nothing to stop what was happening.  And, Morgan might have been a friend under very different circumstances.  But she threw herself off the town water tower, a suicide.  
Now Sam has to live with himself and what he did and did not do.  This is the story of Sam's struggle in the aftermath of Morgan's suicide.  I was deeply touched by this story and recommend it.  
Joyce 10/24

Playlist for the Dead by Michelle Falkoff

Jacket Art Copyright: The Heads of State

Inside jacket summary:

"Here's what Sam knows: There was a party. There was a fight. The next morning, Sam's best friend is dead. All he left Sam was a playlist and a note, saying that he took his own life. But what Sam doesn't know is: why? To figure out what happened, Sam must rely on the playlist and his own memory. But the more he listens, the more he realizes that his memory isn't as reliable as he thought."

Based off the jacket, you really expect the story to center around the significance of this playlist Hayden leaves Sam before committing suicide. Very disappointingly, it really doesn't. The chapter names are songs on the playlist and while they are mentioned briefly at the beginning of the chapter, there is no real significance to the playlist in the story. So while some very cool songs are picked, there is no real meaning there and seems to be just a selling point for the book. Lame. 

There is no answer to why Hayden killed himself, which I understand the author choice in not answering that for Sam or any of the other characters, because ultimately with suicide one can't really ever know for sure. That being said, the author never really explained why Hayden kept something a secret from Sam. We are told that Sam and Hayden are more like brothers. Despite Hayden's awful parents and brother, he is able to find escape by being at Sam's house where he liked it more. Nothing that Hayden was facing really gives you the sense that he lead the worst life, especially when he had Sam. 

That wasn't the worst offense by the author. In the end, the author throws in the character of Astrid, who is a "friend" of Hayden, unbeknownst to Sam. After Hayden's death, Sam's search for answers really then just turn into a romance with Astrid. Which ultimately doesn't work out because Sam finds something out about Astrid that he simply can forgive. There was just way too many things and characters that just didn't do anything for the story which a shame. The premise of learning about your best friend through a playlist is interesting and is why I picked up this book, but don't be fool.

my rating: C-

A.B.

Promise Me Something by Sara Kocek

I think this could have been a powerful story.  But, the author looses track of her characters a couple of times.  In one spot this made the story totally confusing.  And, she switches directions a couple of times, not in a twisty complicated way but sort of in a "Huh"  way.  

Reyna is new girl in high school.  First day is hard, everyone knows everyone and has someone to eat
lunch with.  So, when Olive encourages Reyna to join her, well, why not?  Olive is quirky and Reyna doesn't know what to think.  So, when another group of girls invites her into their group, Reyna does.
But, they are not really to her liking either.  Well turns out Olive thinks Reyna is gay like she is and Reyna totally freaks and tries to drop Olive as a friend, even making fun of her like the other girls do.  There is a homophobic teacher who is hard on a gay boy in his class both angering Olive and keeping her silent.  Olive is in  a GLBQT group on line and has met other girls like herself.  There is much chatter about suicide.  When there is an actual suicide in town, folks think its Olive as the victim was wearing her coat.  This turns into an opportunity to strike out against the homophobic teacher, an opportunity for Reyna to redeem herself for all she regrets not doing and a few other things as well.  Ok, well I am happy to have finally finished this book.  There are others much better.  Try Julie Peters or Ellen Whittlinger or David Leviathan.
JDW 12/14

Find Me by Romily Bernard

This teen mystery/romance fiction tale received a couple of state awards in the author's native Georgia.  It is not bad.  For me it was a little predictable but for a teen perhaps it might not be so.

Wicket and her sister Lily lost their mother to suicide (her escape from an abusive, criminal husband) and their father is running from cops.  They have bounced around from one foster home to another until their lives stabilized with Bren and Scott.  Lily is settling in nicely and enjoying new clothes, new friends, a safe environment.  Wick, who had become a hacker partly to protect herself from her father by helping him and partly to help others receives a message and a diary of a girl who recently committed suicide.  The message simply says find me.  Through a series of traps Wick finds out Lily told Tassy, the dead girl's sister about Wick.  Wick finds out the dead girl committed suicide because an older male "friend" then rapist has his sights set on Lily.  A cop, Carson and the father of the dead girl are both watching Wick's home.  Wick believes Carson is hoping she will lead him to her father.  Wick believes the father is watching Lily.  Wick, not trusting the foster parents, not trusting the law, not trusting anyone but herself has taken it upon herself to protect Lily from the rapist and their father, to find the rapist, to keep whatever Carson is trying to find out secret and to help her father's friend Joe with the latest scam believing she must to keep herself safe.  Enter Griff, who truly finds her fascinating and truly cares about her and truly tries to get her to trust him.  Griff knows Joe and is somehow in on the scam.  Griff keeps insisting on seeing Wick and inserting himself into all the twisted issues in her life.  How can she trust someone who is helping Joe?  All the different threads eventually untangle quite satisfactorily but not before Wick and Lily are both nearly killed by the rapist who has stolen Lily.  I'm kind of annoyed by all the teen girls taking on dangerous crime solving solo rather than trusting someone but this time it makes for an exciting storywith a happy ending.

The 39 deaths of Adam Strand - Gregory Galloay

Adam has died 39 times.  He has jumped 18 times, asphyxiated 5 times, drowned 5 times, poisoned/overdosed 4 times, hung himself 3 times, once each by fire, gun, chain saw, and train.  He has come back to life after each death.  He's seen doctors and psychiatrists, but no one can figure out why he comes back to life.  All of this started when Adam was 10.  His mom, brother, and him were in the car stopped at a bridge that was up to let barge traffic through.  All of the sudden he felt this pull in him to jump off the bridge.  He jumped off the bridge and died.  He came back to life a few days later.  Adam began to be know as the freak around town because he kept on killing himself.  His friends accepted that this was part of him.  As the school year comes to an end the only thing he'll miss is his English class and his teacher.  It was the only thing worth going to school for in Adam's view.  As the summer comes Adam hangs out with his friends and gets drunk most of the time.  He looks back at some different times he's killed himself.  He is seeing a new doctor who is trying to understand why Adam kills himself over and over.  He also falls in love with his longtime friend Jodi.  When he takes too long to tell her how he feels Tony swoops in and starts going out with her.  Adam and Jodi are still friends, but things have changed between them.  Tony keeps nagging him to kill himself whenever they hang out.  Adam keeps telling him that he can't just do it on command.  Tony thinks Adam is trying to prove something, but Adam is what he is.  The night of Adam's birthday he's hanging out with his friends and Tony shows up.  Tony and Adam begin to argue and Tony stabs Adam in the chest.  He's in the hospital for five days and in those days he looks back at everything that has happened in the last few years.  Is Adam doomed to keep on killing himself over and over?  Does he have the strength in him to fight whatever this is and become a better person?

I really enjoyed this book.  You got into Adam's head and saw how he thinks when he kills himself.  I did like the ending of the book too.  It gave the idea of hope that Adam could over come whatever this is and become a person who doesn't feel the need to kill himself over and over.

T.B. 3/22/13

Lie by Caroline Bock

Lie looks at all the different ways people lie, to themselves, to others, by not saying what should be said, by changing the truth, more. Its the story of Skylar who had recently lost her beloved mother to cancer and had fallen into depression. Its about Jimmy who paid attention to her when she was down, who she thought she loved, who had a great hatred of people of different nationalities, who believed they were ruining the United States, stealing jobs from "good citizens". And, its about one night when Jimmy and a friendly boy named Sean, a follower to Jimmy's every lead beat two kids of Ecuadoran nationality, one a U.S. citizen, both legally in the U.S. Skylar, who had been following Jimmy in her own car, trying not to let him see her violating his rules of dating and relating, witnessed the beating. Perhaps her friend Lisa, also in the car with Skylar did as well. The younger boy caught a good enough description of one of the cars for the police to find it. One of the boy's dies of injuries sustained by the beating. Jimmy and Sean are arrested. Search for the truth begins with the kids in the know vowing silence. Sean who has been released on bail would turn on Jimmy so he could go free, have a life but the pressures build till he hangs himself. A visit by Skylar to Jimmy still imprisoned leaves her reeling. Her father can see the lies but doesn't know the truth, everyone must remain silent, not say anything. The news puts a human side on the family of the beaten boys, suddenly things don't seem so distant, unreal. Its not easy to remain silent. What will Skylar ultimately do? What will happen to Jimmy with his high priced lawyer going against a couple of poor Hispanics? Although readers will know how they want the story to end, it ends before everything is final leaving us to think about the lies, the hatred and the impact they had on all the lives of all the people involved, including the parents of all the kids.
jdw 4/18

Hold Still by Nina LaCour

A teen who has had trouble making close friends loses her one long time best friend to suicide and is devastated, almost paralyzed by sadness. The event took place at the end of the last school year, before this book begins, all summer long Caitlin's parents have been trying to help her move on, come out of her depression. Caitlin has agreed to start the new school year where things both good and bad happen. She meets Dylan, new girl at school but can't quite bring herself to be a friend at first. Her father gives her a stack of timber with which to build something to get her mind off Ingrid and she finds Ingrid's Journal hidden under her bed as if Ingrid left it for her as a suicide note. Jason and Taylor guys she and Ingrid cared about both approach her with sympathy and efforts of friendship. Caitlin is photography student and the teacher at first cannot bear to look at her, being reminded too much of her gifted student Ingrid. Caitlin works through much of her grief while reading Ingrid's Journal, working on her building project, learns from Dylan and Jayson to be a friend again and comes to understand others are hurting as well. This is a quiet, hopeful book that follows in a fairly standard way the stages of grief and acceptance. For someone needing or wanting to read about overcoming grief this is a good choice. jdw3/30/11